guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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