I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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