Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
