What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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