He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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