So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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