He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
