Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
You are a genius and a whore.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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