i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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