I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
