when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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