you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
