I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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