why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
