my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
