He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
