ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Randomize
