He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
