Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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