i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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