ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
no more duck duck goose at the bar
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
