There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
