Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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