your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
