Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
