Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
It's blow job season.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
