I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
