Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize