Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
