there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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