So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
