Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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