do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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