my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
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