woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
What a dumb baby whore.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
