You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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