is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
tequila makes me forget i have legs
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You can't just leave with hair like that
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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