you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
