woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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