I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Randomize
