I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize