i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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