That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
