Umm I'm too high to move.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm having to shit out rocks
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
