i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
