I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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