finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
