normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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