I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
