Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
