I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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