Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize