I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
