addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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