I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
