whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
