He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
