wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
