that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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