I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
