9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
