i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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