im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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