covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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