SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
