I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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