Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
