Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
